I walked outside this morning feeling a little frumpy and frustrated with myself. I recently lost a lot of weight after realizing that I don’t have the metabolism that my hubby Charlie does. For two years, I’ve been eating like him. Finally, I realized one day that I didn’t like how I was taking care of myself. By eating his way, I was dishonoring my body and what I need. So, I decided to do something about it and lost over 20 pounds! Yeah!
I’ve been feeling really good in my skin. I’ve felt healthy and more vibrant than I have in years.
Now, don’t think I’m a toothpick. I’m not. I’m still between a size 8 and 10, which is healthy for me. I love this size. I still have curves, but know that with the belly that’s now gone, I’m taking care of my heart and my arteries. And that’s a big deal in my family.
The reason I felt frumpy this morning is that for the last five days, I’ve gone back to the old eating habits. I know this is just for a few days. I gave myself permission to not think about food this week as I moved my daughter to college and am now about to move Charlie’s daughter as well.
When I recognized how I was feeling today, I had to check in with myself. I realized that I was terrified that I was about to put back on all of the weight. So I visualized little Terri, the little 5-year-old inside of me, and asked her what she was afraid of.
She said, “If I don’t look pretty, no one will pay attention to me.”
I knew immediately that this was an old limiting belief that stems from deep societal programming. I also knew that I no longer believed this.
I visualized draining off all of that negativity and sending that energy down to the center of the earth. Suddenly, a truth was revealed and a peacefulness washed over me.
“Terri,” I heard, “the reason people pay attention to you when you feel pretty is because you’re paying attention to yourself. It’s not about how you look, but how you’re treating yourself. If you shun yourself when you look in the mirror, that’s what the world will reflect back to you. But as you love yourself, the world will too.”
What a beautiful message! Not only have I have seen this in my own life, but I’ve noticed over the years with my clients, friends and even my kids, that people decide they’re not lovable because of the weight they’re carrying. They don’t believe they are worthy of being noticed, so they shut down to love. And, as a result, the world reflects this back to them. But as soon as they begin loving themselves, it’s as if something miraculously shifts and all of the sudden people start paying attention. They think it’s their weight that’s making a difference, when in fact it’s how they’re finally loving and treating themselves.