The Enlightened Mom

My daughter, Kolbi, is hurting right now. She and her boyfriend, Adam, broke up a couple of days ago after dating for a year. Kolbi’s the one who made the break. Nothing horrible happened. Adam is an incredible young man with the gentlest of hearts. The relationship, as it was, simply ran its course.

The sad thing is that not only have Kolbi and Adam been in a dating relationship, these two young adults are the very best of friends. They do everything together. It’s not unusual to see them running out the door to photograph a sunset, or to spend the day outside doing water sports. They love being active together. And that is the dilemma.

This is not the first break-up for Kolbi this year. A few months ago she made a decision to separate from a group of girls that had been her so-called friends. As some of them accused of her being anti-social, Kolbi said, “I’m not anti-social. I’m anti-bullying. You all not only bully other people, but you bully each other. And you know I don’t do bullying.”

I was so proud of her for taking a stand to surround herself with love and to be a healing voice. But I knew it would be hard for her to step away from the tribe. High school girls can be really tough. I felt pretty certain that Kolbi would lean on Adam even more as a result. And she did. So you can only imagine how shocked I was when she told me that they had broken up. I watched silently as Kolbi cried, “Momma, I’m not just letting my boyfriend go. He is my best friend.”

I wanted to sob for Kolbi. And, frankly, I did later on. It is so darn hard sometimes being a momma. We just want to wrap our babies up like when they were young and snuggle them up so tight to protect them from harm. But I know this is life. I want to make her pain go away. But it’s not my job.

Yes, I would like to think that my job is master mom extraordinaire and that I have the powers to heal my daughter’s heart. But I don’t. Bummer. It is so hard to sit back on the sidelines and watch.

What I know for sure is that THIS is Kolbi’s path. And because I know this, I bring myself back to center and sit in awe at the courage she has. I know my job is to simply hold a space of love for her as she finds herself.

Kolbi is letting everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, go to honor her heart. This 17-year-old child of mine is becoming an empowered young woman of courage and conviction. Wow! I feel so honored to watch her grow. How did I get so blessed?

I’m watching The Bachelor as I write this. Somehow or another, I’ve managed to get Charlie to sit and watch with me. We both find ourselves laughing hysterically at the antics and the competitiveness of all the girls vying for the bachelor’s affections. The sad thing, however, is that there is an underlying tone of lack, fear, and desperation.

I want to focus on lack in this blog, because I feel it’s why so many people are unhappy. If you feel you’re not good enough, not pretty enough, not worthy of the things you want, you are in lack.

Where does lack come from? It comes from the false beliefs you’re holding onto. These beliefs tell you that there is something wrong with you. How feeling wrong shows up, depends on the person. For instance, one of the contestants is Emily. She is a sweet, gorgeous single mom of a five-year-old. She doesn’t want to tell the bachelor the truth about her life, for fear that he will judge her for having a kid. The lack she feels inside almost causes her to completely shut him out.

Then there’s Michelle. She’s considered the “evil one” among the contestants. She interrupts the other girls when having “dates” with the bachelor. She is controlling, angry, and constantly badmouths her fellow competitors.

Who would have ever thought that a reality dating show could be a great opportunity to study human nature? But it is. Every one of these girls is expressing lack in one way or another. It’s what we do as humans. If we’re in fear, we are in lack.

I know for me, lack expresses itself with the need to control and having angry outbursts. Thankfully, I don’t experience this much in my life anymore because I have tools to use when feeling these kinds of negative emotions.

So how does lack express itself in your life? Do you gossip about other women? Do you resent your spouse? Do you feel “less” than your friends? Do you try to do everything “right”? Or do you struggle with money? These are just a few examples of lack. There are too many ways to share how it expresses itself here. What I can tell you is that if you are feeling anything but abundant in your life, you are in lack.

You know you’re sitting in abundance when you feel “enough.” You feel as if there is no need for competition. You know that the universe supplies all of your needs. And you are open to receive, knowing that you are not alone and never have been

So, are you in lack or are you in abundance? If you’re in lack, you have the power to change your attitude. And when you change your attitude, you change your life.

I invite you to change your life NOW. Lack is going to stick around as long as you allow it. But you can change it right now by stepping onto the path of The Enlightened Mom.

Are you ready? Are you tired of feeling like so many of those girls on The Bachelor? If you are, join me this Thursday night as we begin our four-week teleconference, The Enlightened Mom: Stepping onto the Path. You will shift your negative beliefs that tell you’re wrong for being who you are. You will learn tools to change your attitude from lack into abundance.

Click here to learn more!